Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
