I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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