I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
