I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
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Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
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He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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