She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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