someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize