franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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