Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
farters have to be the big spoon...
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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