Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
bring money and cleavage
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I need a beard to bite.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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