he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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