I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
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