I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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