Betty ford says i'm here all night
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
