Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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