Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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