Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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