So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
