not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
