Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
