Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
