i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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