So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
