I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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