the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize