I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
