I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
