You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize