My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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