Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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