You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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