Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
