You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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