I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize