Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
