i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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