i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
