SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
