dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
