yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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