But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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