I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
