I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
