You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize