seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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