White coat. Heels.
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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