my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize