the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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