8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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