No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
