She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
