I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I love having hate sex.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
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I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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