my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
