Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
