I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
