dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
