Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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