Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
