And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
