ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize
