I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
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