she woke up with a sticky ear
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
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YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
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It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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