What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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