New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Randomize
