I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
she smelled like a LAN party
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
